Squirrels Infiltrate Iran

A group of squirrels were captured in Tehran last week. The rodents were found near the Iranian border, allegedly equipped with eavesdropping devices, according to IRNA. They have been arrested and charged with espionage.

The reaction to the report on Tehran’s streets was varied – from disbelief to assigning guilt for the alleged infraction.

"No, I had not heard about this, but it does not surprise me, foreign countries are always meddling in Iran," said Hassan Mohmmadi, a fast-food vendor.

Mohammadi asked me if I knew where the squirrels were from, and I told him that I didn’t know. Then he came to his own conclusions. "I bet they were British squirrels, they are the most cunning," he replied.

The Blur has learned that the squirrels are in fact from Britain and are a part of the SAS (Super Army Squirrels). The photo above shows the squirrels training for the mission into Iran.

U.K. officials have yet to release a statement on the incident or comment on any possible release/rescue of the squirrels.

This marks the second time this year that Iran has taken British soldiers captive.

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Thanks for the tip Al!

New Badass in Town

Just when I thought Dale Rippy was the toughest son of a bitch around I stumbled on to this story.

Ex-Marine kills bear with log. Yeah, you read that correctly. Chris Everhart (not pictured) and his 3 sons were camping when a 300 pound black bear tried to steal their cooler full of food.

Six year old Logan threw a shovel at the bear and the bear turned his attention to the young boy. Fearing what might happen next, the ex-Marine grabbed the closest thing he could find, a log.

"I threw it at it and it happened to hit the bear in the head," Chris Everhart said. "I thought it just knocked it out but it actually ended up killing the bear."

Chris was given a ticket for failing to secure his camp site. I don't know about that, if there are some more logs handy it sounds pretty secure to me.

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Badass Old Man Kills a Bobcat With Bare Hands!

Dale Rippy 62, a resident of Wesley Chapel, Florida is not someone you want to mess with.

This guy stumbled on to a bobcat going through his garbage. The large cat growled at him then attacked. Rippy said he knew if he could get a good hold on the animal, he would be able to choke it, even if that meant letting the bobcat take a couple of bites.

“I started choking it when got a good hold,” he said. “I choked it ‘til he died. I got scratched up pretty good.”

Rippy never had to go to the hospital, but was examined at a doctor’s office due to puncture wounds on his stomach and scratches.

Incredible.

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Fair Game

U.S. Declares Bald Eagles No Longer Threatened.

Looks like I'll have to dust off my trusty 2100 classic BB gun next time I make a trip to the park to track down that elusive eagle. Since they are no longer consider endangered I am taking that to mean it is alright to hunt them. Nothing steps up your 4th of July cook out like some roasted bald eagle.

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Bald Eagle -5, Mark - 0

As you may or may not know bald eagles are nesting in Cuyahoga Valley National Park near Station Road Bridge Trailhead. The nest is on the propery of Cleveland Metroparks Brecksville Reservation within the boundary of the national park. For the past couple of weeks I have been trying to get a glimpse of the bird with no success.

The nest area is located 1/2 mile North of the Station Road parking lot. I put together a Google map if you want to check it out for yourself. I am going to keep trying, it has to be very impressive to see a bird with a 7 foot wing span flying around. I'll post pictures if I ever track it down.

Bald Eagle Info
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Whales to be Rescued by Hosers

I am not talking about some dorks from Canada but people using fire hoses.

Two humpback whales wandered 70 miles from the Pacific Ocean up the Sacramento River. The two whales, a mother and her calf, became disoriented and are now circling in the river.

Biologists attempted to use sounds of killer whales and clanging pipes to chase the whales back to the ocean with no results. There was no mention of using the sound of Japanese fishing boats but I would guess that would have made the toughest whale turn tail and run.

They are now going to turn fire hoses on the huge mammals to drive them back to the ocean . This is the first time something like this will be attempted and I am willing to bet they got the idea from the Chinese that used the hoses to knock that murderer from his perch.

I hope all goes well and the whales are returned safely to the ocean but I don't see how squirting water at an animal that lives in the water is going to get the job done.

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