The Cleveland Dallas Blur

Park it

2007-03-07T10:40:00.000-05:00

I know plenty of people that could use this advise.

Use your indicator to signal a right turn*. Stop to the side of the front car (the car you are parking behind), so that the cars are about even and about an arm’s length apart (20-26”).
While looking over your right shoulder, start backing slowly, then start turning the wheel to the right. Aim toward the right rear corner of the space.
When your front seat is in line with the rear bumper of the front car, stop and turn the steering wheel one revolution to the left to straighten the tires. Continue backing at this angle until your right front fender just clears the left rear fender of the front car. (At this point, your left rear bumper will be in line with the left front bumper of the back car.)
Quickly turn the steering wheel to the left and finish reversing into the parking spot. Looking over your left shoulder during this part of the maneuver may help you align with the rear car – or use your rear view mirror.
To straighten out, turn the steering wheel one revolution to the right before pulling forward

Or you can try my method.

Look for a spot that is on the opposite side of the street from which you are driving. When you see a spot stomp on the gas and aim for the front tire of the car behind the space. When you are about 10 feet away from the car slam on the emergency brake and cut your wheel to the left. If done correctly you should slide right into the spot.

VIA LIFE CLEVER

What's Happening. (Weekend of 3/09)

2007-03-08T08:50:00.000-05:00

Not much cracking this week folks.

The Akron Wine Opener - 3/9 - 7P - Akron Children's Hospital
All proceeds benefit Cystic Fibrosis. Tickets $50. I have an email in to them right now checking ticket availability, I'll post the status as soon as I get it. More info.

Jessica's Birthday Blowout- 3/10 - 9p - Boneyard - Mayfield Hts. Map
Head out and help Jessica celebrate her birthday. It will be an evening filled with fun and excitement. Gifts are welcome, the more expensive the better and don't forget to buy her a drink.

4 Killed, 3 Critically Injured in Hawaii Tour Helicopter Crash

2007-03-09T09:45:00.000-05:00

PRINCEVILLE, Hawaii — Four people were fatally injured and three critically injured Thursday in a tour helicopter crash on Kauai, officials said.

This is why when I am kicking it in Hawaii I only fly with my man T.C.

Man Down

2007-03-09T12:11:00.000-05:00

Rest in peace Captain America.

Captain meet his demise in "Captain America Vol. 5, No. 25." The "Sentinel of Liberty". Apparently being shot by assissins. Seems kind of weak for a super hero to be taken out by bullets from a few meager assassins. Plus why didn't he just hide behind that huge shield of his?

Surf Warning

2007-03-13T08:30:00.000-05:00

McAffee has released a report on the world's riskiest domains. The world's worst offender is from the country of Tokelau, a group of islands in the south pacific. The country uses the .tk domain and more than 10% of those domains are pegged as dangerous.
Of the other major top-level country domains, 5.6% of the sites in Romania (.ro) and 4.5% of those for Russia (.ru) were among the riskiest. The two nations also placed second and third, respectively, in the percentage of their country domains that host malicious code.
Keep an eye out for those domains while you are surfing for porn, um, I mean doing research for your masters thesis.

CIA info Tokelau

Oh did you mean 1900 PM? My bad.

2007-03-14T14:13:00.000-05:00

A billion dollar US sub (not pictured) disappeared for several hours over night.

The Navy mobilized a search-and-rescue operation Tuesday night after it believed one of its submarines, the USS San Juan, had gone missing off the coast of Florida with 140 crew members aboard. Communications were re-established early this morning, and it all appears to have been a case of miscommunication.The concern was so high that Defense Secretary Robert Gates was notified of the situation overnight, as was White House national security adviser Stephen Hadley, who was preparing to wake up President Bush with the news when communications were re-established with the missing submarine. The Navy had also begun notifying the families of the 140 crew members that the submarine was missing. The incident is under investigation with the focus being on why the ship missed a pre-established communications period with surface ships. Communications with the submarine were first lost at 7 p.m. Tuesday and were finally re-established by 5 a.m. today. The ship reported no problems, and both crew and officers were unaware of the effort under way to locate them.

Full Story

What's Happening. (Weekend of 3/16)

2007-03-15T08:16:00.000-05:00

St. Patrick's Day - 3/17 - 6A - ?
I'll be downtown, track me down and I'll buy you a beer.

Parade Route

On the Road

2007-03-18T22:10:00.000-05:00

I am on the road this week so I might not have time to post. Keep an eye out though, I might be able to shoot out a gem.

This is Not Good

2007-03-23T08:23:00.000-05:00

For the Iranians that is.

The Ministry of Defense has said that fifteen Royal Navy personnel were seized today by Iranian naval warships in Iraqi territorial waters in the north Arabian Gulf.

The personnel were said to be conducting a routine inspection in the area, when they were surrounded by an Iranian vessel and escorted to waters controlled by Iran.

The Foreign Office said that Iran’s ambassador in London had been summoned and Britain was demanding their immediate safe release.

The MoD said the incident happened at around 10.30am local time. “The boarding party had completed a successful inspection of a merchant ship when they and their two boats were surrounded and escorted by Iranian vessels into Iranian territorial waters,” a spokesman said.

I am willing to bet there are several SAS (Super Army Soldiers) already en route to get those sailors back.
Note to Iran: You just lost your Navy.

Full Story

U.K. - No Doggs Allowed, Holla.

2007-03-27T08:37:00.000-05:00

Snoop Dogg and Diddy were forced to scrap the British leg of their European One Love Peace Tour after British authorities refused to grant Snoop (born Calvin Broadus) a visa to enter the country.

For his part, Snoop said he was disappointed that he would not be able to spread his message of peace to his U.K. fans. "With my mic and my presence I can reach kids that the politicians can't and tell them to stop the violence," he said. "They listen to Snoop, so holla back!"

Snoop was denied a visa because of British Home Office rules that allow foreign citizens to be barred from entering the country if there are concerns about their presence. The rapper and five members of his entourage were arrested on charges of violent disorder and starting a brawl in April 2006 when they scuffled with authorities at London's Heathrow Airport after someone in the rapper's party was denied entry to British Airways' first-class lounge. A month after the fight, in which several officers received minor injuries, Snoop was denied entry into Britain.

Ah yes, nothing spreads a message of peace and love like fighting the police.

VIA MTV

Communist Bastards!

2007-03-28T08:16:00.000-05:00

Looks like the the Russians literally wanted to get rid of the U.S. during the cold war. These newly released secret plans from 1973 show what Soviet military engineers thought the world would look like if they would be able to "correct" the world's gravitational field. How would they make these corrections you ask. Well with the dreaded A-241/BIS device of course.

Source

1.5 Million Gone in 2 Seconds

2007-03-28T11:08:00.000-05:00

Eddie Griffin crashed a 1.5 million dollar Ferrari Enzo. Eddie was participating in a charity race when he lost control and slammed into a wall. Griffin was uninjured in the wreck but car suffered tremendous front end damage.

The 1.5M Ferrari was one of only 400 produced. Ironically enough the car cost more than all of Griffin's movies have made combined. The video below is perhaps the funniest thing he has been in. Just kidding Eddie, you know how it is buddy.

What's Happening. (Weekend of 3/30)

2007-03-29T07:46:00.000-05:00

Not a damned thing. Hey its Cleveland what do you expect.
I will be sitting at Panini's in Sagamore Hills from 3P-12A Saturday drinking and watching basketball. So if you don't have anything to do stop up and buy me a beer.

How to Leave a Voicemail Message.

2007-03-29T11:34:00.000-05:00

Here is the proper format for leaving a voice mail message.

1) State your name and company
2) This is the most important part so pay attention. Leave your call back number!
3) State your reason for calling and keep it brief as possible.

For Christ's sake please follow this format. Do not talk for 2 minutes and then spit out your number in 1 second at the end of your message. If I have to wade through 2 minutes of your bullshit to get back to your number that I missed witting down the first time I will not be calling you back, asshole.

Google Plunges Into ISP Business.

2007-04-02T11:25:00.000-05:00

At first I thought this was a shitty idea. Then I noticed you can get 8 Mbps download speeds for free and thought this product could really make a splash.
More Info

What's Happening. (Weekend of 4/06)

2007-04-03T08:42:00.000-05:00

If you are a sport's fan this weekend is for you.

Cleveland Indian's Home Opener - 4/6 - 4P - I'll be downtown somewhere. The weather is supposed to suck so I'll probably just be watching @ a bar.

The Masters - The tournament starts Thursday but I don't normally tune in until the weekend rounds. I'll be watching from my favorite watering hole Panini's in Sagamore Hills Saturday and Sunday afternoon.

Lastly this Sunday is Easter for some people. Happy Easter to those that celebrate it.

Deal of the Knight.

2007-04-03T12:44:00.000-05:00

One of the four documented "close up quality" cars from the hit 80s TV show "Knight Rider" is up for auction. The car known to fans of the show as K.I.T.T. or Knight Industries Two Thousand will be auctioned off in California. The bidding will begin @ $150,000.
Apparently the car does not really talk, reach speeds of 300 mph or soar thorough the air. The light on the front, reportedly, does make that cool humming noise. Oh yeah and the car is not street legal. So I guess all your 150 large gets you is a cool sounding red light. I think I'll wait to buy until K.A.R.R. or Goliath goes on sale.
Some advise for whoever does pick up this gem, don't let Eddie Griffin take it for a spin on a test track.

Explosive Endorsement

2007-04-05T12:49:00.000-05:00

I guess I will be voting all Republican in the the next election.

Palestinian terror group members call US House speaker's visit to Damascus 'brave' and hope for talks with Iran; ‘I think the Democratic Party can do things the best,’ Islamic Jihad member says

Wow, nothing like having a friendly neighborhood holy warrior on your side.
Full Story

I Can Buy the World a Coke

2007-04-06T10:45:00.000-05:00

But not Jesus.

Coke is suing an Italian film company for having Jesus take a swig of Coke in the yet to be released film “7 Km from Gerusalemme” (Seven Kilometers From Jerusalem). The film is set in modern day Jerusalem and Jesus is out for a stroll in the desert and wants to quench his thirst with a tasty Coke. That scene will never see the light of day if Coke has their way. Coke said the scene would probably give the soda a bad image. A spokeswoman said, "We are not interested in this kind of product placement."

Sorry Jesus maybe you can have a Pepsi.

What's Happening. (Weekend of 04/13)

2007-04-11T14:03:00.000-05:00

St. Mark Texas Hold'em Tournaments - 4/13-4/14
I don't like playing Texas hold'em but this does benefit a church built in my honor so I urge you to attend.

Cleveland Indians Home Opener, Take 2- 4/13-8P - I am Actually planning on going into the game this time but of course I will be hitting the bars before and after. If the lovely ladies that bought me beers at the Thirsty Parrot are reading this, I'll be at the Parrot again and you can buy me some more beers.

If anyone has any suggestions for Saturday or Sunday post them in the comments.

Ring of Fire Engulfs Johnny Cash's Home

2007-04-11T14:58:00.000-05:00

Cash's home located on a Wide Open Road in Tennessee caught fire and was extensively damaged.

Firemen tried to Walk the Line and tap into the Big River in an attempt to suppress the flames. Despite their best efforts they were forced to pull back when the fire became too intense, the flames were Five Feet High and Rising. Many of them were overheard saying "Don't Make Me Go, I Won't Back Down". They eventually retreated Down the Street to 301 and had to watch as the house burned.

Fire chief Harold Balhatchet stated "I've Been Everywhere and I have never seen a house burn so quickly. I Guess Things Happen That Way sometime."

Barry Gibb of the Bee Gees, the current owner of the house, said "Don't Cry Cry Cry for me I will be able to rebuild, One Piece at a Time." Gibb's Black Cadillac was also destroyed in the fire.

This a sad day for Cash fans as a piece of his life is forever lost. I hope they do rebuild it but If I Where a Carpenter I would use fire resistant material.

One Arm Bandit in Taiwan

2007-04-12T07:13:00.000-05:00

And I am not talking about a slot machine.

A TAIWANESE zoo vet has his arm bitten off by a crocodile.

Chang Po-yu, 38, from the southern Kaohsiung city's Shou Shan Zoo, was injecting the sick crocodile with anesthetic when it attacked him.

The Associated Press reported that Mr Chang was trying to retrieve a tranquilizer dart from the reptile's hide when it attacked him.

Thanks for the tip B.

Dinosaurs as Pets?

2007-04-13T08:54:00.000-05:00

Maybe sooner than you think.

In a retrieval once thought unattainable, scientists have recovered and identified proteins in a bone of a well-preserved Tyrannosaurus rex that lived, died and was fossilized 68 million years ago. The extraction of this DNA would be necessary for studies in dinosaur genetics and for cloning experiments.

This will be awesome. I can't wait until I can see some real live dinosaurs. What they should do is clone a bunch of them and have them all in a zoo or some kind of big dinosaur park. They could have it setup like the African Safari parks and have cars drive you through.

Full Story

Weekend Review - Not Bad, Dude's Car Got a Litte Dinged Up.

2007-04-16T07:52:00.000-05:00

Apparently booze sticks in your system a lot longer than I thought and it is much tougher to out run the police than you think. In my defense I almost got away but I must have hit some black ice or something and spun out into a wall. If I could have held on for another 30 seconds or so I would have escaped.

Another Zoo Mishap

2007-04-16T11:16:00.000-05:00

This one took place in Argentina and unfortunately was fatal.

Melisa Casco, 19, was attacked by a Giant Anteater and died after an operation to amputate one of her legs.

Casco worked at the Florencio Varela zoo outside Buenos Aires as part of a conservation and reproduction project involving endangered giant anteaters. They are usually not aggressive, but allegedly this was a prank gone amiss.

Federico Santiago thought it would be humorous to fill Melisa's back pack with ants moments before she entered the habitat. Santiago figured it would trigger a reaction from the ant eater but he had no idea it would be so violent. None of this has been verified (or reported anywhere for that matter) but I think this is how it went down.